Katie's Mission Blog: January 23, 2024-January 29, 2024-Week 38-San Miguelito

Letter to everyone:

Hey everyone! I can't believe this week enters into February! One month into this year and I have already been able to learn and grow so much!

This week was overall good. We are still working with lots of families who have someone in their family who was previously baptized. The horror and biggest headache of the mission is getting people to GO TO CHURCH! Which is literally crazy in my ward that I am in because we have a free bus haha. But, it definetly helps and helps get people to church. We have been working especially hard to bring members to our lessons, we had 10 with us! I really love this ward, and I like being in an area for three transfers, because then the members really become your family. In every ward a I have "panamom", and in this ward it is Grace! She is the best and is always taking care of me. Lessons with members are always so more powerful because practically every member is a convert, and in the meantime they are also strengthening their testimony.

Some of the really good things that happend this week were leadership conference!! I got to go to the city on Tuesday and be with all of the leaders of the Panama mission and discuss how we could improve the mission and we brainstomed our ideas. I think it is always a good humbling moment, because there are always so many things I can improve. Tomorow we have zone conference, so that will be fun, and I get to see Hermana Christensen again, so my fears of not seeing her the rest of the mission have been debunked.

I also got the opportunity to serve and play the piano at the funeral of someone in our stake. I am really grateful for my mom who made me take piano lessons all those years, and my piano teacher, Karen Hawkins, who helped me develop this gift. But, I defintley dropped the ball at times with my practices...so sometimes I am not the best pianist, but I am always ready and willing. It was crazy though, there was probably 100+ people there and I was like, "where are all these people when Sunday roles around for church??". But alas, it was good to play, but I play every Sunday here as well. I don't know any lyrics in Spanish because I have probably only not played one Sunday in my whole mission. One of the speakers shared something really cool that I liked. He talked about John 11 and the resurrection of Lazarus.

Mary, weeping says to Jesus "if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died" (John 11:32). But, the Savior in His perfect knowledge was probably thinking: "oh if they could see as I see". He then asked them to move the stone away from the tomb, told Lazarus to come forth, and told them to take of the napkins that covered Him. Mary, all the while was thinking "He has been dead for four days, it is well past his time. Lord why are you even trying?". But, Lazarus rose again and walked again. Miracles.

I think all too often we are like this. We think, "well if the Savior were here, life would have been like x, y, z...anything but this" and "the time is too late, it has metaphorically been FOUR LONG DAYS!". But the Savior is a God of miracles, who also invites us to be apart of them. He invited them all to do things, to seek and work for this miracle. I know that He has never forgotten us, that He is never going to leave us doubting, but He is going to lift us and to work miracles with Him.

Letter to family:

Tuesday, I got to go into the city, and of course wake up very early to get there. But luckily, I am not living out towards Chiriqui, where they literally leave at 11:30pm the NIGHT BEFORE! So, we got into the city at 8am. It was really fun to see Hermana Hatch (my second companion) as well as Elder Clark, since now he is a zone leader. We talked a lot about helping our friends to keep their commitments. One idea that I really liked that we have been doing is literally taking people's phones and putting alarms on them to read their scriptures -- from recent converts, friends, or randos in the streets. We have been seeing a lot more success with that. I also love President, he just speaks to the needs of us. I swear he always knows all the things that are going through my head and he seems to speak to the one and all our questions that we have and worries. He is a great President! We also ate KFC, so that was funny. It made me think of Garret when we were in China, and how that is the only food he ate and how he survived.

We thankfully had so many members come out with us this week on visits...a whole 10! That is actually a lot and they have been testifying their little hearts out. The church isn't different here at all, there are still people who have super strong testimonies and know that the church is true and read their scriptures, there just sadly seems to be a lot more people here who have fallen away. They just need more leadership. I think in one more generation, well like my generation when they have kids, will be super strong. The church is still so young here, like the 70s. So the people who first joined the church, are now just dying. But lots more people are serving missions and they will come back with firmer testimonies and faith and understanding. So I can't wait to see all the good that will come to Panama so soon!

On Friday, we had to go into the doctor because Hermana Jackson has some weird skin problems that are happening. She has tons of blisters and puss filled stuff. So, we had to find her some things to help get rid of it, so hopefully with time it will get better. The Dr also looked at her feet that have skin problems too and was like "your feet are so swollen, you look like a 40 year old woman" and so now when we come home she has to elevate her feet every night. Last night she was putting her feet up, and a coach roach almost walked right up on her. We still have coach roach problems...I don't know how to get rid of them. I think we might have mice or something, we just find poop in random places. We have traps and poisons, but still. And our toilet back has to be filled every time we go to the bathroom...random rant over. I love this house. I love Panama!

But, honestly Friday was super rough. I just felt like "ok well I am tired of being a missionary and I just want to go home". It was weird because it come over me so suddenly. And it has only happened a few times like this in my whole mission. But, it was just super overwhelming and terrible. Because I want to be here, and desire to be here. It truly is the greatest work. But it is tiring. And hard. And I am just trying to find the ones who are ready to listen, not just some random joe from the street who cat calls me, ya know? (side note: very excited to not be around Panama men). I know there are people out there. I have seen so many miracles in the lives of people here of people just knowing the church is true. Literally, our recent converts, Reymundo and Mercedes, are going around inviting everyone to come to church, reading daily in the Book of Mormon, and they say their favorite part of their week is when we come see them. So chosen. So, pray for these chosen people and for people to help us find the chosen. Anyways, back to what I was saying about feeling this overwhelming terribleness. I have thought a lot about this in relation to Joseph Smith. When he went into the grove of trees to pray, Satan came in and tried to stop him from praying. But what happened after...THE LITERAL MIRACLE of Joseph Smith seeing God the Father, and Jesus Christ, and from there, the restoration. Therefore: MIRACLES ARE COMING! With time. With patience. But they are coming. I am working for them. My comps working for them. God is with us. So, February should bring some baptisms.

As for the progress on some baptisms:

- Erick and Milagros were supposed to be baptized this Saturday but didn't come to church...they will be baptized. They love the church. They want to be baptized. So, just with time and patience. We also are trying to help their cousins get baptized but their parents are being bums and won't go to church. We passed by their house on Sunday to go to church and the kids were all dressed but their moms just kept making excuses.

- The familia Batista will also be baptized. Of course after they go to church. They are golden. We are going to talk about commandments on Tuesday, see if there are any pressing problems (i.e. coffee, alcohol, or unmarried relations but from my understanding none of them are dating anyone...so green light!)

- Tilsia. She is just a random contact we had who came to church the very next day. And she knows the church is true and her baptism is invalid because what power did the evangelico church have? none, that's right. But shes like "i'm just used to going to my church". So we need to bring a member to her and talk about one true church and all that.

We also found this family who the mom is actually a member from Colon from ages ago. So that could cook up something good.

We are always on the search for these souls!!!!! It is good and long and hard. I need to be better at my eternal perspective and finding joy in the journey. When the day is sucky I choose to smile because some wise person (dad) told me to smile because you can't be upset, mad, anxious and smiling. So that has been working. The sun is shining. Very strong. My comp is good. She has intersting taste in music, but that's the only funny quirk.

Leadership conference -- Hermana Hatch, Hermana Jackson, and Hermana Navarro