Farewell Talk

Here is my farewell talk that I gave in sacrament meeting: 

Hi and good morning and happy mother’s day. I am Katie Christensen and I am serving an 18 month mission to Panama Panama City. I began my missionary service last week and have completed one week of at home MTC. For now, this seems to be the church's protocol on missionary service for young missionaries. I leave for the Mexico MTC early Tuesday morning where I will complete five more weeks of language and gospel study. From there, I leave for the field in Panama.  

I’d like to begin today by sharing my favorite scripture. Moroni writes in the twelfth chapter of Ether in verse six, “I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” (Ether 12:6). I just love this scripture. Often, the answer to our situation or guidance from our Savior does not come right away. Answers to our well intentioned prayers are often like the light we can perceive on a foggy day. There’s enough light to carefully take one step forward and not stumble, but not enough to race forward to our desired destination at full speed. Though you know it is there, you cannot necessarily see the end goal through the mist. The path from point A to point B is often not the most direct way, but a path is illuminated brightly enough for you to follow and trust that it will take you where you want to go. Like this dimly lit path, the Holy Ghost can always be with us when we are worthy of His Spirit and seek His help. Our metaphorical clouds of trouble make His whisperings of direction harder to discern, but He is still there when we look for Him. The Savior may guide us over and through our personal mountains and storms to rest in His oasis of peace if we choose to follow His light. Naturally, we would prefer for the Savior’s guidance to be like a light switch: all at once, bright, and sudden. Though He may talk to us like this, it is more rare because He wants us to learn to have the strength to endure to the end by relying on Him and His gospel. Moroni continues his writings by giving scriptural examples of those who endured with faith. I would like to give three examples of women and mother figures, all named Mary, who likewise endured with faith. 

Probably the most famous and well known Mary of time is Mary the mother of Jesus. The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her to “fear not” and continued to instruct her that she “shalt conceive in [her] womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus”. The angel continued saying, “He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David. And he shall reign over the house of Jacob forever ; and his kingdom there shall be no end.” If I were Mary, I would have felt like the angel's advice to “fear not” was a joke and would have felt like a slap to the face. I always wonder and ask myself, how could Mary not fear? How could Mary not fret how her life was dramatically going to change? How could she not wonder what people were going to think of her, an unwed woman? She must have wondered, will I have to face the consequences of the law and possibly be stoned to death? Would Joseph trust what the angel said and still want to marry her? And if what the angel had said was actually true, how could she raise the Son of God, the man who was sent to save her? I am sure all of these thoughts raced through her head as she pondered over the news the angel had told her. The angel could sense her hesitation and promised to her “for with God nothing shall be impossible”. Reassured and calmed by the angel, Mary quieted her concerns and could feel the truth of the words spoken to her. She responded “behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word”. Mary is a great example for all of us. Her world had suddenly been turned upside down and permanently changed. She had many reasons to doubt and to question. Rather than continue down this path, she changed her will to match the will of God. She did not have all the answers right away, but she chose to trust in the Lord and in His timing, understanding that He had a greater plan for her. 

Another Mary read about in the scriptures is Mary Magdalene. Early on in the accounts of the gospel, we read she was a woman who was possessed with seven evil spirits. The Savior miraculously healed her and she became a devoted disciple to the Savior Jesus Christ. How she must have felt when they crucified the man who had saved and healed her must have been unimaginable. She was near the feet of the Savior at His death, dressed and anointed Him at His burial, and was one of the people who discovered His body missing from the tomb where He was laid. At this point in her life, she must have felt devastated and confused, wondering who had taken the body of her master teacher. John 20 reads, 

“11 But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,

12 And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.

13 And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.

14 And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.

15 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.

16 Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.”

During our deepest sorrows and affiliations, the Savior is there for us. Believing in Him can steady us through our hardships. Like Mary of Magdala, He knows us by name. He knows us individually. If we are always seeking to be near Him, despite our circumstances like Mary was, He will draw near to us.

The last Mary I would like to talk about is my great grandmother, Mary Worthen. She and I were pen pals when I was a little girl and she always made me feel like I was her favorite person in the world. Though now, I know she made everyone feel the same way. She lived a life that she most likely had not anticipated for herself or would have chosen. For 23 years my Granny was a widow after the passing of my great grandfather. At times, I am sure she was very lonely and sorrowful without her eternal companion by her side, though she never expressed it. I would like to read a letter from her that sums up her attitude, despite the challenges she had to endure: 

“Dear Children and Grandchildren

I express my gratitude to each of you and your family for all the love and support you have given me since Dad has been gone. I want you to know that I have a testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know he came to this earth as our Lord and Redeemer. He truly is the Son of God. I am grateful to Him for all he has done for us. I love the Book of Mormon. I know the words written there are true. I am grateful for the Prophet Joseph Smith and his part in restoring the gospel and bringing to us the Book of Mormon. Each of you are very special to me and I love you very much and am so glad that you are mine. Love, mom”

Life is not always going to go as we expect, but it is going to go the way that our Heavenly Father has perfectly planned for us. The truths of the gospel make life able to not only be endured, but enjoyed. My great grandmother is a great example of this. She could have questioned “why” and let her despair replace her hope, yet she chose to press forward in faith and share her light with other people. Relying on the basic tenets of our testimony, even when there are many challenges along the way, is the only way we can endure. 

**brackets for personal notation and remembrance of things going on that I did not want to share at the pulpit**

These mother Mary’s have inspired me at times when I have felt like giving up. I know that when we are partnered with the Savior and do as He would do, enduring with faith can be a blessing. I have felt this when I have attended the temple. This last year at BYU, I made it a goal to attend the temple once a week. Often I would go to the temple with worries for the future and I would be calmed while in the temple. To say the least, I am pretty worried about what life looks like after my mission. I’m sure my mom is sitting here laughing because she has heard this repeated list many times. I have no set plans for once I return, and that is the complete opposite of who I am. I like to have all the details and for things to be meticulously set in place. I don’t know when I will return back to BYU – whether that be winter, spring, summer, or much later the following fall. My mom will have to sign me up for housing and register me for classes while I am serving my mission if I decide to return for winter semester. I don’t know what I will do if I am not accepted into the nursing program when I arrive, whether that be reapplying, transferring, or changing my major all together. I don’t know where I’ll work [because I need medical experience to gain acceptance into the nursing program] or who my friends will be [since I honestly did not make this many school year besides Lilly, who will probably be married shortly after I return, and Brooke, who may have already graduated]. [Six months later, my parents will most likely be beginning their service as mission presidents for three years somewhere in central or south America. My younger brother will also begin his service as well around that time. My older brother and sister-in-law are hoping to live abroad, particularly in Spain, to play professional basketball overseas. Being left alone in the states with none of my immediate family around to gather for holidays or big occasions or not always being able to talk to them during these busy times of their lives makes me scared. I want to cling to them and tell them to never leave me because I need them during this ever changing and demanding time of life! I know my extended family is there for me, but it is not quite the same. And, the thought of Michelle possibly passing away while on my mission sends me to tears. Additionally, my best friend will also have left on his mission only five months prior and I won’t be able to see him for 18 or so months, not knowing what our future holds. Stubborn as I am, I am comfortable and I don’t want to say goodbye to all these people in my life.] Needless to say, all of these unanswered questions stress me out. Many times I have been sitting in an endowment session, with these worries racing through my mind. Yet, two scriptures have come to my mind and given me strength many times since hearing the Holy Ghost bring them to my remembrance in the temple. Whispered to me were the words, “Peace, be still” and “I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little”. Though sometimes I feel like the 12 apostles in the middle of a dangerous storm, the Savior is reminding me that He has the power to calm those same storms. All powerful and ever present, He is at the helm of my life. He has given me all I need to know for now, and will gradually continue to give me more as I turn to Him. Though often I sometimes pridefully sympathize with the lyrics of a youth song called Good Day that read: 

1. I think I know better

I think I know how i should be

I got it all planned out

But He’s got a plan for me

When it’s bad weather

Sometimes I yell up at the sky

Today was supposed to be dry

But that’s not what I need…

Whatever happens He knows

He’ll never leave me alone

I know that the answers that I so desperately want are not what I need right now. He knows what I am thinking and He always hears my prayers, but I trust that He knows what is best for me and for you. I know these next 18 months on my mission is where I am supposed to be and what I need to focus on. I know that He is going to take care of me and my family while I am away and that He will guide me to the people that need to hear the restored gospel of Christ. I know He is with me every step of the way, and that gives me the strength I need to endure.

I want to end my talk by reading the lyrics of a youth music song called, Thy Will Be Done. 

1.Thy will be done, O Lord, not mine

Whether in brightest day or darkest night

And give me strength to carry on

Whatever comes

Thy will be done

2.And though I walk on paths unknown

And pass through fire or wear a crown of thorns

I know I’ll never be alone

This is my song

Thy will be done

3.Thy will be done, O Lord, not mine

Though tears may fall and loved ones say goodbye

Thou seest so much more than I

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

Though I don’t always understand

What thou hast willed, what thou hast planned

I’ll leave it all inside thy hands

And trust thy will until we meet again